waiting to exhale

During the centering exercise at the beginning of my classes, I instruct my students to breathe, being sure to fully exhale and contract the belly in and up to fully empty the air. This is purposely done to empty the stale energy in the body and make room for new prana to be inhaled in. Remind you, I say this at least 6 times a week. However, this afternoon during my own personal practice, I realized I wasn't practicing what I preach. I was holding on to a little of my breath at the bottom of the exhale, as if I was afraid to let it go. What would happen to me if I completely emptied my body of air? Would I suffocate in that empty moment? Why was I having this anxiety all the sudden this afternoon?

Immediately this got me thinking about the parallel to life. How many of us, including myself, are holding on to that last bit of air (or something else) afraid to let go? Blocking new energy and life because we are holding on to something stale? That space being blocked could instead be flourishing with new breath! I’m happy to say that I did not suffocate but was humbly reminded how the simple act of exhaling could transform my life. Ah!

Pancake of the day: chocolate chip
Pose of the day: virabhadrasana 1 (warrior 1)

Is this really my life?!?

Today I taught my largest class to date. I was shaking off nerves and humbled by how many people got up to share their Sunday morning with me. When I think back to my life a year ago, I couldn’t have begun to imagine this moment let alone feel worthy of it. Before I started this journey, I was another lost 20-something searching for something ‘more’ in life. Stepping out on faith, I listened to my heart and became a yoga instructor.

Lately I have been overwhelmed with the positive feedback regarding my classes. While I’m more than appreciative, I’m beginning to feel guilty. See, I am merely a messenger, sharing the ancient practice of yoga, not the creator. I am simply a guide helping people discover the potential that lies within each and every one of us, not some enlightened healer. I am so appreciative of the praise, but it would be selfish for me to think it’s mine alone.

My students are really thanking each and every person in my life that made this journey possible. They are thanking every yoga instructor that has shaped the practice, my friends and family who stood by me on this crazy ride, and anyone else who directly or indirectly made me the person I am today. I am worthy of this moment because it’s not really mine but ours. It took me a career change to understand the meaning of it, and I think maybe that’s what I was searching for a year ago; gratitude. In other words, thanks!

Pancake of the day: blueberry & honey

Pose of the day: paschimottanasana (seated forward bend)